Loss without a death — ambiguous loss as a risk context for domestic violence
For professionals who work with children, young people and families.
A considerable share of children experience ambiguous loss in childhood. Most professionals do not see it.
Ambiguous loss is grief without a deceased person — the loss of how things should have been, whilst life simply carries on. The child with a severe disability. The parent who is still there, but is no longer the same. The family falling apart. No funeral, no condolence cards, no acknowledgement.
And yet it is a great loss. A loss that grows, that piles up, that slowly disrupts families — until the tension finally erupts.
If you only look for signs of violence, you’re only seeing half the picture. The other half is what this family has been going through for months or years — without anyone realising. This module shows you that other half.
What you learn
- What ‘ambiguous loss’ is and how widespread it is — the figures are higher than you might think
- How ambiguous loss affects individuals and the wider system, and why it is a risk context for domestic violence
- How to analyse two case studies using the loss triangle: impact, coping and support
- Why the same signal can indicate both an ambiguous loss and domestic violence — and how to deal with it
- How wearing two pairs of glasses at the same time gives you a more complete view of a family
Module content
Practical information
This module was developed by Richard Hattink, a bereavement counsellor, funeral director and international trainer. He has been working with children, young people and families experiencing grief and loss for over 25 years, and trains professionals in the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, Austria and beyond.
KC ToThePoint is an international centre of expertise on bereavement among children and young people, operating in seven countries.